Experiences with ''str8'' guys

MisterB · Mar 28, 2019

LuckyGuy said:
Are you able to predict the future?

Can I predict the future? Nope. But for me, my history is an absolute indicator my future behavior. Especially when it comes to my sexuality. I knew who I was at 19. 46 years later I know more than ever who I am.

You are AGAIN projecting YOUR opinion. Your thoughts. Onto others. Which was the gist of my post.

Which you obviously missed because you made your same opinionated observation about me as you did in the thread @Mr. LPSG started in the Support section. Which was based on what? Certainly not FACTS . Have we met? Nope.

You are entitled to YOUR opinion. However, you are not entitled to project said opinion on ME (or anyone else for that matter) by accusing me (them) of not being of the sexual spectrum I've (they) stated.

I noticed you changed your Sexuality % to be more reflective of your stated thoughts. If you are evolving from 100% gay to 80% gay/20% straight, CONGRATULATIONS! Perhaps you'll also evolve from being so judgmental and absolute about others.

Let me state it again: YOU DON'T KNOW ME. So please: DO NOT TRY AND SPEAK FOR ME. Because you couldn't be more wrong.

MisterB · Mar 28, 2019

LuckyGuy said:
The more people jump up and scream about not being attracted to something just confirms something is triggering them.

And the more a person repeatedly posts about the sexual fluidity/spectrum of another poster here in absolute terms makes me wonder what it is that is triggering that person. How about you share with us why YOU are of the sexual spectrum you now claim?

I ask because in the Support area thread I referenced, you presented yourself as 100% gay. But then told us that all folks were sexually fluid. And I challenged you on that, especially given your own 100% gay identification. What's changed?

1335531 · Mar 28, 2019

MisterB said:
And the more a person repeatedly posts about the sexual fluidity/spectrum of another poster here in absolute terms makes me wonder what it is that is triggering that person. How about you share with us why YOU are of the sexual spectrum you now claim?

I ask because in the Support area thread I referenced, you presented yourself as 100% gay. But then told us that all folks were sexually fluid. And I challenged you on that, especially given your own 100% gay identification. What's changed?

The whole spectrum thing was created by Kinsey and used by researchers as a tool to give an indication on the prevalence. Also it's self reporting so it'll never be 100% accurate. Tomorrow I may present as 100% straight.

Seriously that sexual indicator should really removed from the site.

LPSG Support · Mar 28, 2019

MisterB said:
Can I predict the future? Nope. But for me, my history is an absolute indicator my future behavior. Especially when it comes to my sexuality. I knew who I was at 19. 46 years later I know more than ever who I am.

You are AGAIN projecting YOUR opinion. Your thoughts. Onto others. Which was the gist of my post.

Which you obviously missed because you made your same opinionated observation about me as you did in the thread @Mr. LPSG started in the Support section. Which was based on what? Certainly not FACTS . Have we met? Nope.

You are entitled to YOUR opinion. However, you are not entitled to project said opinion on ME (or anyone else for that matter) by accusing me (them) of not being of the sexual spectrum I've (they) stated.

I noticed you changed your Sexuality % to be more reflective of your stated thoughts. If you are evolving from 100% gay to 80% gay/20% straight, CONGRATULATIONS! Perhaps you'll also evolve from being so judgmental and absolute about others.

Let me state it again: YOU DON'T KNOW ME. So please: DO NOT TRY AND SPEAK FOR ME. Because you couldn't be more wrong.

I tend to be the type of person that agrees with what you've written here. I try to never project on to others. We are all unique human beings. Let everyone be who they want to be especially if they are a good person. Trying to project usually reveals more about the person projecting.

ItsAll4Kim · Mar 28, 2019

LuckyGuy said:
The whole spectrum thing was created by Kinsey and used by researchers as a tool to give an indication on the prevalence. Also it's self reporting so it'll never be 100% accurate. Tomorrow I may present as 100% straight.

Seriously that sexual indicator should really removed from the site.

You don't have to identify here at all. I never did. If anyone wants to tell me I can't post in an "Ask a....Male" forum, they can explain MY orientation to me. It's not as if I know...

1335531 · Mar 28, 2019

ItsAll4Kim said:
You don't have to identify here at all. I never did. If anyone wants to tell me I can't post in an "Ask a....Male" forum, they can explain MY orientation to me. It's not as if I know...

That's the big problem with the site and the 'Ask a ....' forums is the sexual orientation quota.

ItsAll4Kim · Mar 28, 2019

LuckyGuy said:
That's the big problem with the site and the 'Ask a ....' forums is the sexual orientation quota.

Well, if we're all just people here, and no labels should be applied to us, then the site could remove the "Ask A" forum restrictions, remove the requirement to declare a gender, and even remove the (required) location tag.

This obviously creates problems. The same problems that any attempt to arbitrarily *restrict* labels creates....why is it okay that the thread titled uses a label, but as soon as it's questioned, some say labels are no good? Why didn't anyone suggest to the OP that he shouldn't use "str8" especially in quotes, right at the start?

I'm not lobbying for one way over another. This only seems to be an issue on this site. My friends and the people I've worked closely with for decades are a fairly good spectrum of humanity....dozens of nationalities, all races, genders including transitioning and reassigned, orientations across the board, political affiliations and religious beliefs (and none), etc. None...not one, has ever had an issue with how they identify and how others describe them.

The bottom line has always come down to intent. In person we know when people are genuine, and when they're insulting us. I've seen guys I know are racist meet someone of a different color and watched them, and then heard their comments later...which were unsurprising...their body language spoke volumes when face-to-face. Here, where we can only rely on print and whatever history another member has, its nearly impossible to interpret intent, etc. from others.

Answers? Keep a civil dialog going. Things can always be figured out if there's communication.

1335531 · Mar 28, 2019

ItsAll4Kim said:
Well, if we're all just people here, and no labels should be applied to us, then the site could remove the "Ask A" forum restrictions, remove the requirement to declare a gender

The way gender diversity is heading that may just be in the not too distant future.

Snakebyte · Mar 28, 2019

LuckyGuy said:
The more people jump up and scream about not being attracted to something just confirms something is triggering them.

As far as I'm concerned we're all sexually fluid and those who deny are the same as fundamental religious folk when it come to sexuality.

So literally all scientists are like fundamental religious folk I guess. Tbh the only one on the level of a fundamentalist is obviously you, since:
a) you defy science
b) you tell everyone here he's sexually fluid no matter if they are or not
c) you make a generalization just because that's your opinion and everyone else is wrong

Besides: telling you that you talk bullshit doesn't mean I'm triggered. It means you talk bullshit.

LuckyGuy said:
Seriously that sexual indicator should really removed from the site.

No, simply because lots of folks use this site for getting to know other people of their sexual interest. And if you like it or not, not everyone is interested in both sexes.

LuckyGuy said:
I'm not telling anyone who or what they're attracted to at all.

Yes you absolutely did when you said everyone who says he doesn't get aroused seeing penis is a liar. Want me to find the quote? You said it a few days ago.

1335531 · Mar 28, 2019

Snakebyte said:
So literally all scientists are like fundamental religious folk I guess. Tbh the only one on the level of a fundamentalist is obviously you, since:
a) you defy science
b) you tell everyone here he's sexually fluid no matter if they are or not
c) you make a generalization just because that's your opinion and everyone else is wrong

Besides: telling you that you talk bullshit doesn't mean I'm triggered. It means you talk bullshit.

Science backs my argument. There is debate about the sexual identity labels, whether they should be categories or on a continuum. Yet since sexual identity labels are self descriptions it doesn't discredit my argument that humans are sexually fluid and sexuality isn't an immutable trait.

Does sexuality exist on a spectrum?

Snakebyte · Mar 28, 2019

LuckyGuy said:
Science backs my argument. There is debate about the sexual identity labels, whether they should be categories or on a continuum. Yet since sexual identity labels are self descriptions it doesn't discredit my argument that humans are sexually fluid and sexuality isn't an immutable trait.

Does sexuality exist on a spectrum?

First of all that's no scientific source.
Nobody here was talking about categories vs continuum. You don't seem to understand that science says that some people are sexually fluid. They even give some roughly estimated percentages in some studies which are conclusions from field studies. What you deny though are the very real ends of the continuum. "Exclusively heterosexual with no homosexual" and vice versa if we want to use the terminology of Kinsey.
You say everyone is sexually fluid. You are NOT backed by science. On the contrary. So unless you provide a real scientific paper that says "everyone is sexually fluid" don't even bother.

P.S.: since you said sexuality isn't an immutable trait. Well as a matter of fact sexual orientation is pretty stable. I can give a real scientific source for that: "Handbook of Identity Theory and Research" by Schwartz & Luyckx

1335531 · Mar 28, 2019

Snakebyte said:
First of all that's no scientific source.
Nobody here was talking about categories vs continuum. You don't seem to understand that science says that some people are sexually fluid. They even give some roughly estimated percentages in some studies which are conclusions from field studies. What you deny though are the very real ends of the continuum. "Exclusively heterosexual with no homosexual" and vice versa if we want to use the terminology of Kinsey.
You say everyone is sexually fluid. You are NOT backed by science. On the contrary. So unless you provide a real scientific paper that says "everyone is sexually fluid" don't even bother.

Everyone's sexually fluid. That's my argument and that's where I stand.

DiomedesXVI · Mar 28, 2019

Can we talk about or even share pics of straight dick already? Y’all can make a whole new thread and link it here for the debate aspects of discussion. Until then, show me the D, and y’all take the L.

Snakebyte · Mar 28, 2019

LuckyGuy said:
Everyone's sexually fluid. That's my argument and that's where I stand.

Ok, so you're a fundamentalist. You don't care about facts but ideology. Won't waste another second on you now that your agenda is obvious. Have a nice life.

ItsAll4Kim · Mar 28, 2019

LuckyGuy said:
Everyone's sexually fluid. That's my argument and that's where I stand.

Any time you try to define humanity in absolutes, there will be an exception. Can you definitively prove at any level that every person has or will change their orientation? No, there is no possible way that this can be proven.

Everyone *can* be sexually fluid. <this leaves the possibility that some never were, are not now, and never will be fluid. Some are who they always were. Some are not.

ItsAll4Kim · Mar 28, 2019

DiomedesXVI said:
Can we talk about or even share pics of straight dick already? Y’all can make a whole new thread and link it here for the debate aspects of discussion. Until then, show me the D, and y’all take the L.

Absolutely nothing is preventing anyone from sharing that. These aren't strict on-topic forums. Given that there's both a decent discussion going on, that the discussion is keeping this thread in view on page 1 instead of dropping like a stone, and that this is a relationships and discrimination topic, I don't see a problem but understand why you do.

1335531 · Mar 28, 2019

ItsAll4Kim said:
Any time you try to define humanity in absolutes, there will be an exception. Can you definitively prove at any level that every person has or will change their orientation? No, there is no possible way that this can be proven.

Everyone *can* be sexually fluid. <this leaves the possibility that some never were, are not now, and never will be fluid. Some are who they always were. Some are not.

Sexual identity emerged in the late 1800's and then took hold in western society near the mid 20th century. Before then sex was only about reproduction and not desire or anything else.

Humans are sexually fluid. This doesn't mean everyone will act on their desires for various reasons and a lot of studies are self reporting so the reliability is based on whether the participants are being truthful. Sexuality is a controversial and highly political topic in society so people are always going to push back on any argument humans are sexually fluid.

ItsAll4Kim · Mar 28, 2019

LuckyGuy said:
Sexual identity emerged in the late 1800's and then took hold in western society near the mid 20th century. Before then sex was only about reproduction and not desire or anything else.

Not even a little bit accurate.
-Prostitution is called "the world's oldest profession" for a very good reason. I don't think reproduction was the goal.
-Ancient Greece. Ancient Rome. Pompeii. Just gonna leave that here.
-There are stone dildos that date back even before those times. Reproduction?

LuckyGuy said:
Humans are sexually fluid. This doesn't mean everyone will act on their desires for various reasons and a lot of studies are self reporting so the reliability is based on whether the participants are being truthful. Sexuality is a controversial and highly political topic in society so people are always going to push back on any argument humans are sexually fluid. .

My disagreement is with your use of absolutes. You could say "most or many humans are sexually fluid" and I'd agree. But claiming that *everyone* is just has no basis of proof whatsoever.

You can go on with this but until there's a reasonable professional opinion that fluidity happens to everyone, I'm done here.

zaynmlk1626 · Mar 28, 2019

ok i'm unwatching this thread, you have ruined it guys sorry

englad · Mar 28, 2019

DiomedesXVI said:
Agreed. A pattern is just that, a pattern, not a strict regimen. I agree straight guys "ideally" don't do anything sexual with men, but pragmatically, that's a different story. A pattern just means there is largely predictable behaviour and that the vast majority of times X happens, but it does not preclude that there isn't a Y and that the Y may be a few outliers. This site is pretty awesome for having its percentage scale on profiles. Seems like I see 90% straight/10% gay, or 99% straight/1% straight way more than I see 100% straight/0% gay. I like that this reflects the fluidity of sexuality that I'd say most people have.

Now, personally I do define bisexual as anything that's not 100% straight or 100% gay, but if a straight guy or a guy who calls himself straight has a 90/10 split it's not my business to tell him he can't define himself as he sees comfortable. The thing about sexuality terms is that in the end, it really is all a subjective deal, just like gender ideals. Masculinity for example, is how any man views himself within his maleness. He could be the most effiminate male in existence, and while I do have notions of how I perceive masculinity, if he feels that whatever he does is his own masculinity then that's him, that's what the word is for him.

And we're going to return to talking about patterns. A pattern you see on here is the only guys calling themselves straight are either guys who are listed as 100/0, 99/1, 90/10, and the lowest I've seen is 80/20. You probably aren't going to see any percentage lower than 80/20 calling himself straight. Because words do have meanings, but meanings, especially labels based on personal experiences, feelings, and self-defined identity, have some wiggle room. The pattern*** here is that guys, who for the vast majority, have opposite sex attraction and sexual liaisons still call themselves straight. For the 99/1 guy, 99% is still a vast majority straight, for the 90/10 guy same deal, for the 80/20 guy still mostly the same deal. So if that's how they see it and how they want to define themselves, that's their call, not mine 'cause after all I ain't fuckin' them, so I couldn't care less.

I agree, though I think the 99% straight or gay = bisexual is a tad ridiculous. Many gay men have slept with women in the past, usually due to heteronormative societal pressures. I would never consider any gay person who has, to be bisexual if they identify as gay. I've listed myself as 99% gay, but in terms of sexual history (with the exception of one MMF threesome where I blew a guy whilst he took care of a woman) and fantasising I'm 100% gay as both of those have been exclusively with the more chiseled sex. I think I mainly put down 99 instead of 100 purely because I occasionally kiss women when drunk, and I'm not repelled by the female form (a tad bored with it perhaps, based on being bombarded with it, due to growing up in a society built for straight men and their gaze, one which I do not share). So I guess it's a never say never attitude, but your personal definition would lump someone like me into the bi category. That's not offensive, but it does seem somewhat nonsensical. Likewise I wouldn't consider a 99% straight man to be bi either.

As for 90% guys, I'd personally lump them into a "flexible" category.

But I personally think romantic orientation would be a far more accurate and fitting way to describe the whole spectrum. The gender(s) you have sex with makes little difference to differences in life experiences, compared to the gender(s) you have relationships with.

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